Damn, the weather over here has been pretty crazy. I mean by California standards of course. It’s 39 degrees or so at night and it is fucking freezing for us. I know people in the midwest and what not would probably go out shirtless in this kinda weather but we are freezing our asses off. And on top of that, it’s been pouring rain today… So as you all know, my computer took a huge shit so I wake up this morning to some IM’s from HeyMikeyyyy about a guy he knows that fixes computers. First thing I ask of course is if this guy works out of his house or something. Cuz usually that might be the case when friends suggest this kind of thing to you. Second thing I asked about is if this dude is trustworthy. Last thing I need is some pervert trying to out perv me by watching my porn. Something about a man beating off to the contents of another man’s computer that leaves a unnerving sense of weirdness in my stomach. That and I just don’t like people looking through my shit, period. That’s why I always try to fix my own computers. I’m kinda computer-savvy but with major hardward stuff, I just don’t know. I mean I can take shit apart but do I know what the fuck it does after it’s in pieces? Well, no. So I just want my computer fixed so after 25 more questions about whether dude would look through my computer, Mikeyyyy convinced me to go. He’s like “oh yeah, this guy is some nerd asian guy, he doesn’t do that.” Uhh..What? I think the first guy that would look through a computer for dirty ass porno would be a nerdy asian guy. How do I know? Well I’m definitely not that nerdy, but I am asian and I do enjoy my adult movies. I look through my own computer for dirty shit that I might not even have downloaded, you know what I’m sayin? Mikey swears this guy is legit so I give it a shot. On my way to Pasadena, I’m stuck in traffic like always but the rain stops and I see he biggest rainbow I’ve ever seen in my whole life….
Shit was unreal….So big I almost crashed into that truck in front of me staring at it. It was pretty cool, I have to say. So I get there and drop my computer off for him to take a look at it, and I’ll find out soon what exactly is wrong with it and how much money it’s gonna cost me. The dude does look legit though, exactly like what Mikey said. Entrusting a man with your computer and it’s contents is like trusting a random stranger to drive your car, minus the arthritis and dick sauce. The guy looks legit though, for real, so I guess we’ll see what happens…
Once I get my computer back though, I’m gonna have to start thinking long and hard (aka thinking “stickydiljoe”, get it? haha…ugh..lame) about this Top 10 Hondas of the year business. I’m sure everyone is looking forward to it and I’m excited to put it together. I’m even gonna make custom stickers for the winners if they decide to rep it on their cars. Something along the lines of “The Chronicles…Certified Top 10 of 2009” or something. It’ll be cool trust me. I’m artsy like that. I won’t even try to draw it in MS Paint. I have a couple cars in mind, probably enough to fill half the list while some are borderline but I really want you guys to tell me what cars you think should be on the list. Maybe I missed some cars along the way and you can help me refresh my memory. Think of the Hondas you saw this year that came out and took the community by storm. Like really made an impact. Add that with how many appearances they made. I don’t want cars that just showed up once and never appeared again. Also, I don’t want to see anything that’s just been on the web. Like, it was revealed on the web. It’s best that the cars on here were at events and were actually seen by large quantities of people on more than one occasion. So we’re talking
a)Impact on the community this year
b)made appearances throughout the year at events
c)Not based solely on internet pictures
d)And if you’re not familiar with the car, don’t be a fucking asshole and suggest it and talk it up all big and you’ve only seen one picture of it or something. I’m not stupid, entirely. Besides, that’s my job.
e)Don’t suggest your friend’s cars. Seriously…I’m cool with it if you know the guy but don’t start talking about how great the guy’s car is cuz his lip is broken or it’s all beat up and it’s cool because he drives it everywhere. This is the Top 10 Hondas of the Year, not, who’s the most hardcore for driving around and breaking stuff list. You know what, if you break your lip while you drive, you either don’t know how to drive, something unfortunate happened where you hit something or someone, or you should probably just get it fixed. You know what’s hardcore? Setting yourself on fire and fighting the dragon-looking motherfucker from the Neverending Story movie. That’s pretty hardcore. Driving around slammed and cracking a lip? Ehhh….it should be a given that it happens. Are we clear? I don’t care if the car is driven all over town or parked in the garage. It’s the build and the build quality that matter to me.
So, let’s hear what you guys have to say. I’m an open book. Let me know which Hondas YOU think belong on the list. Leave comments here or post it up on The Chronicles Facebook page.
*There’s a chance it won’t make the list even if you suggest it though, but hey, input is always welcome!!