Oh man, I suck at taking pictures. You know what else I suck at? Being bad looking. And shitting normal. I finally woke up today at 12:36 pm and got to editing these pictures. If they look terrible, then you’ve been warned in advance. Don’t go: “God, these pictures are awful” like you had some divine revelation. I took the time and documented my entire weekend in Norcal and I tried to get some stuff on the way back but I was too busy driving in heavy rain and wind. Plus the camera was no longer working. Either the battery died or it just got tired of taking shit ass pictures. I’ll tell you what happened though. I pretty much drove for 6 hours and somewhere inbetween there I ate some chicken mcnuggets, got gas, and took a piss. Yes I accidently pee’d on the seat. It happens to everyone. It wasn’t one of those backsplash moments either where you kinda pee to hard and it bounces off the water and ends up on the seat. I pretty much just had bad aim because I was incredibly tired and hopped up on energy drinks. There’s a strong possibility that I shortened my life by 2-3 years because I drank so many energy drinks that night. In any event, I got home safely and I’m here to tell you all about my weekend. Without further ado, I present to you….Wekfest weekend…Day 1…

…The adventure began that Monday when one of our guys was trying to score a spot for Wekfest. It was completely sold out and things were looking incredibly bleak. Then, Thursday night at around 3:30am or so, he goes online and realizes that someone answered his plea and was selling their spot because they could no longer do the show. So that Friday, we were set to take off to Norcal. Sheepey from DPK had been bugging me all week with random stuff like sponsorship proposals and what not and he was wondering when we were taking off. With the rain and all, it was a good idea to make the trek with some other peeps just in case we ended up flying off the road or something. I headed up to the valley to meet up with the homies and wait for Sheepey while he picked up Jimmy and David from DPK. These fools took forever. Eventually we just headed out and met them on the highway. Jimmy drove like a maniac and eventually caught up to us around the 5 North/14 highway area…

We took a piss break somewhere along the way and the heavy rain was all but gone by the time we passed the grapevine…

I was driving the Element and the other two inside were basically KO’d so I hung out in the front while Jimmy molested his cupcake…

I hope Jimmy uploads this pic to his Myspace page because it might possibly be the best picture of him ever…

After they finished eating, we took off and made our way through Pacheco pass and eventually to the 101 freeway. We probably should have gassed up at the gas station because we were close to running out of gas by the time we got up to Norcal and apparently in that area, they don’t believe in gas stations. We were driving around for awhile with the gas light on and no gas station in sight. The GPS on the new google g1 cellphones are garbage. The only gas station it helped us find was an invisible one that was sitting in a pond next to an industrial building. Eventually we found a Shell station and by that time the DPK guys had taken off to go stay at an ATS Garage member’s house….

Oh I forgot to mention that I booked a room the night before we left and I managed to find a deal at the Travelodge in South San Francisco for $37 a night with AAA discount. I don’t really have AAA but they didn’t bother checking. When I went to check-in it was already around 3am and some black lady was standing by the counter with a plastic cup covered in saran wrap. As I told the clerk my name, the woman said: “Don’t do it, they got bed bugs in this place. I’m gettting a refund”. She showed me the cup and I didn’t actually look inside but I guess she captured some bed bugs and was calling another hotel. I took her word for it but it was 3 in the morning and I wasn’t gonna try to book another room. For $37 a night, I would be surprised if the place didn’t have bugs. Did I mention that this place had an IHOP connected to it? Haha. They have like an “IHOP suite”. I guess you can like, sleep inside there or some shit. Or shower in maple syrup.

This is the view from outside our room…

…I know, I totally agree with you, it does look like motel where Martin Luther King was shot. For further comparison, here is an animated graphic of the location where the incident occurred…

The similarities are uncanny. I think the three people above are pointing at James Earl Ray, who was convicted of killing King with a single rifle shot. Did you know that the autopsy revealed that King had the heart of a 60 year old, even though he was only 39? I know! Prrretty crazy. I don’t know who would make an animated picture of that event, but I sure hope it’s not from an old PC game. That would be wek……fest…..yeah.

This is where my night ends. Someone stole the batteries from our TV remote inside the room so we didn’t get to watch much TV. That and there was something wrong with the cable because CBS looked like a scrambled porn channel. I showered and went to sleep. In a couple hours we were supposed to meet up with the rest of the Phaze2xDoods fam….

Part 2 coming tomorrow….