PANCAKE ASSES!!!! Everyone keeps asking me about the models this weekend. The usual suspects weren’t there this year, just Jenny Chu from what I saw. I was too busy looking at cars and talking to random people that I didn’t have time to stare at girls. But from what everyone has told me, no Christine Mendoza, no Justene Jaro, Lisa Fleming, etc… so stop asking me. From what I spotted, all I saw were pancake asses. What are pancake asses you ask? Well pancake asses are the flatest asses of the asses. They’re so flat that if you ever wanted to play a game of kick ass with a girl with a pancake ass, you would accidently, and most certainly kick her in her cooch. There were more pancakes at the show then there were at the IHOP I ate at everyday that I was there. Why such a large collection of no-asses at one event? I don’t know. It’s a genetic thing. Either that or the cable car system in Northern California lacks the proper cushioning to support the proper growth of ass meat. Yeah, I said it: Ass Meat. When I say Ass Meat, do you find yourself having a mental image of a dick next to a round ass? Well you do now…gotcha sucka! I bet you it ain’t even your dick either. You’re sick!

I ate at Mel’s once in Hollywood, that place sucks. I wasn’t even drunk that night and I remember my roast beef dip being all dry and shit. Then Chris Brown came in and slapped the sandwich out of my hand and started doing a gay dance. Man that guy is aggressive. Okay, I lied about the last part, but you can clearly see how the Mel’s in Norcal pictured above and the previous sentence helps me smoothly transition into part 3 of Wekfest weekend…

So where were we…..Ah yes. At the Marriott. So we all met up in Mikey’s room to figure out where we were going…

We decided to head out to Fisherman’s Wharf to check out what was going on over there. The last year I came up for J’s, I went to the same spot and went shopping and what not and it’s definitely a spot to visit if you’re not from around there.

It was such a pain in the ass finding parking down there. Especially since it was like $30 or some shit to park anywhere. Mikey somehow managed to find time to threaten to kidnap a white guy inbetween that time but we finally found parking…

I think this was the highlight of Mikey and Tina’s trip. They found this candy store by Pier 39 and went completely apeshits over it…

This guy just wasted no time. He thought it was a buffet or something and just started eating candy without even paying for it. What a menace…

They did end up spending over 20 bucks on candy though….so I guess the store can take the loss on the other 20 bucks worth that Mikey already ate inside.

Then we walked around, stood for awhile, met up with my buddy Billy with the laguna seca blue IS300, and went to go eat before we took off. As we were leaving, Mikey got a call from either Ernesto or Kenneth, I forget who, but they notified us that we were personally invited to roll-in to the venue that night. Only a few were notified to be there so it was quite an honor to be asked. I guess PhazexDoods is doing something right…I mean, most of the time we’re just fucking shit up or breaking car parts, but somewhere along the way something went right…

Don’t be alarmed or at all surprised because the next set of pics are at a totally different time of day. We left around 7 or so and some of the peeps did some shopping before we headed back to hotel. We didn’t even have time to eat dinner because the cars still needed to be washed and prepped before we made our way to the venue…

We found a self-service car wash down the street from the Marriott and everyone got to work on the car scrub-down….

Mikey found time to nap standing up while everyone was hard at work…

Once all the cars were nice and spotless, it was time to head out to Japantown…

The drive was pretty cool. I wish we could have captured it on video. It’s not too often that you get to see some of the most infamous Hondas on the net mobbing together through the streets of northern California. It’s hard enough to get all these guys together to drive around in our own hometown…

Considering all the rain, it was a pretty nice night. It was cold as shit but that’s just how it’s been in Cali lately. Anyways, we made it to the venue without a hitch and made our way into the parking structure where Wek’fest was to take place…

On the way in, we ran into this J’s Racing-themed Integra. It looked real aggressive with the front flares and all the aero so I had to take a closer look at it…

I was pretty impressed with the entire car. Teal all way through the bay and interior, full cage, custom dash…man I probably should have taken pics of all the stuff I just mentioned…

I’m sure most of you know by now that Wek’fest aka formally J’s Gathering is held inside a parking structure. When we rolled up, it was a little past 10pm and sections of the structure were still filled with normal cars because of all the adjacent business that were still open. A couple of other cars showed up that were asked to come early and we walked around and got a chance to check them out…

We hung out for a couple hours there and some of us were getting kind of restless and tired. Everyone had been up early and we also walked all over the wharf and it was starting to catch up to us. The girls were basically knocked out in the cars while the guys were up joking around while also trying to figure out how we were gonna set-up…

I think around 12:30am or so our spots finally opened up where we were to be parked the next day. We lined up and locked-up and hopped back into Mikey’s Expedition and took off back to the hotels for rest. Of course we were hungry and guess where we ate at?……Yup…good ole’ IHOP….

Man, the guy at IHOP hates his life. I’ve never seen someone so disgruntled to work at an IHOP. Aren’t you supposed to be happy as fuck when you serve people pancakes? I would imagine. I’m smiling just thinking about pancakes…and pouring syrup all over them, and then cutting them up into squares and eating them…and then saying “oh I think that’s enough”, and not finishing all of it….

Stayed tuned for part 4 of Wekfest weekend…..it might actually include some coverage of the show….maaaaybe.